Are you being Controlled in your relationship

Warning Signs to look for in a controlling relationship

Isolates you from family and friends

To control someone, you need to isolate the person. In controlling relationships, the controller, will cut you off from all your friends, family and colleagues especially if he thinks they are a threat and may be telling you about his bad behavior. His goal is to get everyone out of the picture that might be telling you the truth about him.

The controller does so because, he/she feels that the people around you may influence you against him/her. A controller lives in such unbound insecurity, that he/she believes that you will walk away from the relationship at the drop of the hat. A controller will make false accusations and will verbally abuse you if she/she sees you socializing. This will make you feel guilty and imbibe a feeling of remain aloof from the social circuit.

Uses Money to control you and the situation

• A manipulative man may try to convince his partner that she needs him financially. He may spend lots of money on her in the beginning of the relationship to get her used to living well and receiving plenty of gifts. He may even invite her to move in and encourage her to quit her job so that she has few options if she decides to leave. He begins to spend less money on you as the relationship continues, this sometimes is his way of regaining control

  Acts Depressed

  • Manipulative men often act depressed or even suicidal when their partners consider ending the relationship. He may say something like, "I can't live without you" or "I am going to hurt myself if you leave and it will be your fault." this tactic is to make you feel bad and you find yourself staying even longer.

  
  

  You want to leave; but you feel stucK

  
  

   It is not uncommon for people stuck in controlling relationships to dream about a better life with a brighter relationship and this could just be a brighter relationship with yourself. This feeling arises because you have let your life be dominated by a relationship to the extent of losing touch with yourself and your needs. The best thing to do after ending a controlling realtionship is to take some time to get to know your self before diving into another unhealthy relationship.

IF YOU CAN RELATE TO ANY OF THESE WARNING SIGNS; YOU ARE PROBABLY IN A CONTROLLING RELATIONSHIP. PART II WILL DISCUSS HOW TO START GETTING OUT OF A CONTROLLING RELATIONSHIP AND MOVING ONTO A MORE HEALTHY LIFE