Do you have a plan B

Women have asked me why can't we have it all, a career, a hard working faithful man that's responsible and steamy spontaneous sex. My usual response is you cant have it all, but there is always a sacrifice in love but don't loose yourself in the process. My last relationship, my husband was the bread winner, In the beginning every week he handed me over his NFL check and trusted that I would do the right thing. He encouraged me to do whatever I wanted with my life, but preferred I stay home and take it easy, which meant: be available and have my dinner ready when I get home. He never discouraged me either, he was a southern guy and believed a women shouldn't have to work but before we met my life was a constant struggle. I was in school, starting a business and taking writing classes. I didn't want to just stay home like some of the wives who met at Starbucks, worked out, shopped and then sat front row and center on game day looking perfect. I wanted to drink a beer, jump out my seat when he scored a touchdown and curse like my momma did back home, but that wasn't NFL wife etiquette.

I thought I had it all, a personal stylist, private schools, clothes, cars, money, the best baller in the league but after a season of traveling to all the games and seeing the world, attending charity events and being part of the "wives club" and trying to conform into that life, I was slowly killing the fun, crazy, spontaneous girl from Pittsburgh I used to be, Overall I just wasn't happy.
My husband was good to me, he loved me, but I found out later he also loved being with other women,and the more he fucked up the bigger the gifts got, and for awhile I accepted them, and everytime I did I was loosing a piece of myself. I began to feel like I was just sitting on the bench waiting my my number to be called, this wasn't living.

I wanted more, I needed more, so I decided to go back to college and begin writing again. The more independent I became the less the affairs effected me and the stronger I became and despite all the promises I knew I couldn't stay in the relationship .When we meet I was a single mother, in school, working two jobs and didn't have time to relax and then we married and my whole life changed and I really didn't know how to handle this new elite lifestyle that sometimes just required being cute and showing up but there was more to Me then just Mrs. Morris eventhough I went from bouncing checks for groceries to chefs and maids and people actually asking me for a damn autographs I had dreams and aspirations and this was my opportunity to make them happen The allure of that shit is crazy addictive and can be very dangerous if your not grounded. Thank god for my family and friends who could care less how many touchdowns and rings he got, all they wanted to know if "hows my baby" "when you coming home"

Trust me, I'm not complaining but there is always a catch and that's why no matter how much money is involved, if that check isn't coming in both your names it ain't yours.If your not building a next egg for your future with or without him your stupid, no matter what he does for a living. Husband/wife is a title, nothing is guaranteed, but the more you do for yourself the more prepared you are and the better decision you are able to make, My life changed overnight, the great husband wasn't who I thought he was after all, but because I established a life and career for myself , the day Idecided enough was enough and there is nothing more important than my self respect and being a good role model I would be for my daughter I packed my bags and left him, It hurt like hell,but it wasn't so hard because I had a plan B.

So be prepared for anything. My point is this, don't make yourself to available to anyone, don't get to comfortable, and be smart, ask questions. You can be independent and committed, but educate yourself, find something your passionate about and always have a plan B. Women stay in bad relationships because they have to, and because they have no other options, they have no plan B. You can have it all but be prepared for the bullshit.Today I'm against investing it all in love, because love wont pay your damn bills, love wont mend your broken heart. So Mr. Wonderful turned into MR. HOW THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN, maybe on day I will totally restore my faith in love, but right now I'm investing in my future and collecting my degrees, because knowledge really is power and the more you know the better off you are. Keep you comments real or keep them to yourself. talk with you soon