how much of your past still controls you?

I was talking to a young lady  one day who revealed some intimate details about her past. I was shocked to know that she had been molested by a family member through-out her high school years and she never told anyone until she was about 30. Throughout her life she  had many challenges with school, relationships, finding a career that she liked and with people overall. Her approach to life was that everyone wanted something from her and they would all eventually hurt her anyway so she would self sabotage. For years she would find any reason to break off a good or great relationships, she lost a few jobs because she felt her male supervisors were always preventing her growth in a position and as far as having a good relationship with another female was out of the question, she said she just couldn't bring herself to trust anyone, and if people started asking to many questions about her and her life she feared they would know her dark secrets of abusive so she cut them off.

We met in college at the time we were both in a demanding Master's program and we often found ourselves sitting in the same library's around campus studying and eventually we began to talk. We became very good friends and as I began to know her I sensed her cold ways because I had them too. The more I revealed about myself the more comfortable she became around me and the more she began to talk. Eventually she told me about the things that happened to her when she was younger and expressed the misery she had felt for years because she was unable to talk about it. Fearing she would be judge and treated differently.

She soon realized that talking to someone about it and owning it started to make her feel better. I gave her the number to a therapist  that was very helpful to me during a time of much distress  and sorrow as I grew I realized that your past will dictate your future if you don't confront it, own it, and move on. Its been almost a year since Ive seen her, but she called me last night to tell me thanks, for what I thought... she called to thank me for just listening and not judging her for what happened but convincing her that once shes  able to talk to someone about these things she is no longer a prison to them.

She told me shes been in therapy for almost a year and she is looking at life with a new set of eyes. I was so happy to hear that so it made me want to share it with you. Please don't let your past mistakes or failures dictate your future. So many people have failed their way to success and just because you fail at something  doesn't mean your a failure. So next time, you sense someone is trying to write you off, take the pen and write the end to your own story.
Peace