Death stared back at me today

I never thought about how death looked,smelled or sounded like. Today I stood over it; someone close to me actually died for a few minutes. It was like an out of body experience for me as I watched my mom screaming "lord not yet" my lil sister crying and yelping in pain, my oldest daughter running around frantically with her cell phone and me trying to perform CPR efforteslly on my partner in crime, my best friend, my audience for years, my sounding board, my teacher, my enemy at times but overall a lost that would have forever changed all our lives because we love him so much.
Death as I saw it, was grayish blue and it felt cold, and although it was staring back at me, I could tell it was still so far away but it was fighting to come and take him, but I was fighting harder not to. The will to leave is atonshing, and after he came back from wherever he went, he told me of his fight with god and evil, he told me a voice said come with me, its easier here, but the other voice told him, not yet, dont leave them yet. We had no idea as we screamed, kicked and cried like infants and fought with the demons in life, he was under a spell, fighting his on fight. As Courtney began CPR , something came over her, she became calm, relaxed in the midst of the all the chaos , then he choked, then he gurggled, then they said they have a faint pulse. My faith kicked in, LORD is this the day we will loose him, "Stephanie he said "Not Today" So that night I sleep by his side and listened to everybreath he took, afraid, that one was his last one, this was his last one, but he breathed heavily all night and today he is still here with us, He makes us laugh, he made us cry, he drives us crazy with his foolishness, but TODAY TODAY he is still here with us.